Going to Extreme Lengths to get Attention

Me at the ER practicing for biological warfare

Some may say that I will go to extraordinary lengths to get attention. With just 10 days until my baby brother is supposed to be born, I pulled out all the stops. Knowing that in just a matter of days I am going to have to share my parents, grandparents, toys, cat and everything I hold dear, I have made a last-ditch attempt to keep all the focus on me. And I'm doing an admirable job if I might say so myself.

I laid the drama on pretty thick this time: An ambulance ride to the ER, attached to an oxygen tank. Impressive, don't you think? It doesn't get any more hair-raising than this for first-time parents including my 9-month pregnant mommy, concerned grandparents and all the other people in my wake. 

Yes, that is exactly what occurred early Wednesday evening after a nice chit chat with a doctor and a quick measure of my oxygen saturation levels. So effective was this ploy, in fact, that I may have managed to ensure myself, being highly contagious and all, the dedicated attention of one parent for just myself even after my brother is born. 

So here I rest in the hospital, still attached to oxygen, IV and an O2 saturation machine as everyone spends the last remaining days of mommy's pregnancy surrounding me with love and attention. And as an added bonus, I joined my classmate Ephraim, who, like a true champion, has been hijacking his own mommy's undivided attention for nine days now right across the hall from where I am. Smart kid.

I may be making light out of my situation, but no one else is. Even though it has been more than 24 hours, the doctors still aren't sure what I have. The best assumption is that I have followed in the footsteps of Ephraim with the same virus, the fun and lovable "adenovirus," which seems to be plaguing half of the country right now. It is causing me to dig deep for breaths, with all of my muscles, and has created some sort of foggy haze in my lungs. Actually, for all I know, I may have had it before Ephraim since I have been fighting all sorts of ill symptoms for a few weeks now. But every trip to the doctor resulted in the same verdict: Its "just" a virus, which was basically translated as "you are paranoid, over-protective parents, so just deal with the runny nose and crabby, sleep-deprived child because there is no medication to treat a virus." 

And this "just" a virus now equals an indefinite hospital stay that could stretch from several days to several weeks, a feverish, listless baby and frazzled parents. I think the word "virus" has become a curse word in our home.

You know its bad when the usual perky, smiley Daniel doesn't even react to his girlfriends/therapists, Talia and Elysa, who came from Shalva to visit (and not work, I might add, but actually just have fun!). And when Daniel doesn't exert his flirtatious charm with the nurses. That, my friends, means a dire situation. 

The timing is uncanny. This follows abba's bout with strep throat. Oh wait, I tested positive for that too. And this all transpired less than 24 hours after Mimi came flying in to the rescue. Yes, my Mimi moved her tickets earlier so she could be here to help out - even before she knew just exactly the daredevil stunt I would pull. 

And although the drama and attention work in my favor it also threatens Christmas. Mommy hearkens to Michael Scott of The Office who declared once: "Christmas is canceled this year!" 

Ah well, that is where I pull the Armenian card. Being ethnically one-quarter (abba acts like its 100 percent) Armenian, I have the privilege of partaking in three Christmases if I want to. Even though most people celebrate Christmas on Dec. 25, there are two other possibilities: Jan. 6 and Jan. 18. Did you know that we Armenians in Jerusalem celebrate Christmas on Jan. 18? Yes, so I have also calculated that into my schemings. I have another month to cash in on the yuletide festivities while still soaking in the attention lavished upon me now.

Trying to get into the Christmas spirit
- before the virus really kicked in

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