A Lament over What May or May not be Teething

Hand to mouth -

- An important move for a baby to learn

I've got it down rather well these days

If this isn't teething, I wonder what the real entry of teeth into this world will be like. I've endured several seasons of symptoms that all the baby websites say point to teething. Excessive drooling. Fussiness. Obsession with finger in mouth. Sometimes the whole hand when a finger is not enough. But all of these seasons have ended the same: with no teeth.

Right now, all of these symptoms are intensified. But what if I travail through all of this agony yet again and still to no avail? If this isn't teething, but just a mere baby season, then what will it take to cut some teeth?

According to mommy's dentist, I have nothing to worry about. A couple months ago, while about to undergo some of her own oral torture, mommy lightheartedly told the dentist of our little pact: that I would cut my teeth while under anesthesia for my upcoming operation so as to avoid what we thought was the inevitable pain of enamel breaking through tender skin. She thought that was amusing. What ensued, however, was an uncomfortable conversation.

Dr. Weiss: Yea 'they' say it hurts when babies get teeth.

Mommy: But doesn't it? I mean that is what conventional wisdom says.

Dr. Weiss: Well, we have no way of knowing. Babies can't tell us. They also say fevers and sleeplessness are associated with teething. But there isn't a conclusive connection and doctors don't support that.

Mommy: So you don't think teething hurts the babies?

Dr. Weiss: There is no evidence that it does. 

That left mommy a little stunned. Here was a dentist blatantly defending his profession against what he perceives are false accusations of mouth pain rather than taking the babies' side. It was almost like he was defending an entire career and profession of false accusations. Poor dentist, I almost pity him!

So I didn't cut any teeth while under anesthesia. Nevertheless, I continue to drool buckets worth of saliva. And I have taken to banging my chin hard against adult shoulders, and even the tile floor today. That was new and slightly frightening. Was this an attempt to ease my pain, whether phantom or real? Or was this just another inexplicable baby oddity that comes and, hopefully, goes?

I won't say. But certainly abba and mommy are left hoping this new behavior is connected to cutting teeth rather than having to get me checked out for head banging.

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